Brenden Lampe

by Horror Sleaze Trash on March 19, 2014


Brenden James Lampe. Melbourne VIC

Born in ’84 grew up as a typical small town farm boy till hitting the big city at age 17.

First time writer, full-time drinker. 

turn ons include full fledged facial hair and a brain bigger than your cock.

turn offs…….. can’t remember last time was turned off.

life motto: If it ain’t broke fucking SMASH IT TO PIECES and have fun trying to put it back together!

Bipolar character #1

THE WOLFMAN (what big eyes I have)

Being bipolar I carry a hairy darkness inside, one that emerges periodically much like a werewolf  on a full moon and here’s my trigger.

I am infatuated with the red ridinghood’s of the world. They are innocent, sweet, unaffected by the world around them, horrible fashion sense ( I mean who the fuck rocks a red hooded cape anymore? Hello! Pick up a fashion mag once in a while). Its completely not sexual, I have no interest in shagging them in the woods somewhere on the way to grandmothers house, no, its much more sinister then that.

In the story of red riding hood’s finally she arrives at her grandmothers house only to find something is amiss, her grandmother has been eaten and been replaced by a wolf in DRAG!

Here’s the thing, had it ever occurred to any of you that in fact the crossdressing wolf that stands before her is indeed her grandmother?

Perhaps she is actually a werewolf in sheepish clothing and has been waiting all this time for her opportunity to get little red riding hood alone, to lure her to her house with an elaborate story of needing baked goods so she could devour her.

Does this sound ridiculous to you? Well then, you must be just my fucking type.

Don’t worry though I’m not here to eat you,I am here to TURN YOU. I’ll lure you in with my non threatening small eyes, blunt teeth, nurturing non threatening grandmother approach until the time draws near. There’ll be small taunts when you’re in the woods until the moment arrives that we are alone because you think you are safe. But before you notice WHAT SHARP TEETH I HAVE I’ll bite you, filling you with the same darkness and watch as you turn into a wolf as well.

But then the full moon is over for me and I’ll return to the sweet grandmother I am 30 days of every other month but YOU unfortunately will not. You’ll be left staring in the mirror with extra hair and teeth (possibly in nanna drag it’s not common but don’t rule it out) wondering “what has happened? what have I become? While I’ll sit back and admire the monster I created.

It all makes my darkness seem less monstrous when I can see it reflected in others, and who knows maybe you’ll accept and love the creature you’ve become and turn others around YOU too….. but… probably not.


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