Catfish McDaris

Post image for Catfish McDaris

by horrorsleazetrash on September 4, 2010

Image: CatFish on Left, Ray Bremser on Right.

Catfish McDaris is a journeyman bricklayer & retired postal worker. He is reading in NYC next month to promote his newest chapbook Making Love To The Rain. His last big read was at the Shakespeare & Co. Bookstore in Paris. His most infamous chapbook remains Prying, he did with Jack Micheline & Bukowski. More here

Fucking Landlord Blues

I was working nights at the post office. My lady woke me up, to check out the prospective new tenants. We lived in a lower flat and needed to rent the upper.This babe looked like Barbie, she had on blue stiletto heels and was stacked like the Guadalupe Mountains in New Mexico. I walked behind her and those clicking erotic shoes. Her ass looked like gelatin on fire, swirling in a Van Gogh painting of a Starry Night wet dream. When we got upstairs, she nonchalantly rubbed her titties on my arm. Lust was in her eyes and I could feel my Moby Dick getting hard enough to impregnate a whale in the bathtub. I showed her how to pull the ironing board down from a tiny closet in the kitchen. Distraction was my motive, but it sure as hell wasn’t working too well.My lady called from downstairs breaking my trance. There was a biker dude that had his check book out in our kitchen. A nice looking couple from Asia was speaking their language and motioning toward our duplex from the front porch. Three Mexican men were in the backyard, drinking Tecate and scratching their balls. Everyone wanted the flat. Fuck it, I thought. I rented to Barbie. She was so hot and horny, every time my lady went any where, I was eyeballs deep in her pussy. She lived upstairs eleven months and she screwed my headlights out. I thought I was going blind. She finally moved, I couldn’t say I was really sad to see her go. I needed rest badly. A Puerto Rican bowler moved in next. She would drop her bowling ball on the floor above , every time she was ready for a good romp. Her nipples were brown and protruding. Her cunt snapped like a bear trap. Her poontang spoke rapid fire Spanish, it was tight and young. Ms. P.R. would shove a banana up her furburger covered with cinnamon. I’d eat it and her and make every inch of her body squirm like a night crawler. She sucked me better than all the whores I had become acquainted with in the army. My lady had suspicions, but I was slicker than cat shit on a hot tin roof. The Irish red head moved in next. She was even better than the others. Her pussy was like a boomerang. She was a walking orgasm, just waiting to happen. She liked to put ice chips up my asshole and spew whipped cream all over me and lick me clean and suck me slowly until I almost went mad. I’d shove a big red battery powered dildo up her ass and pussy. It looked like a stick of dynamite. Which ever hole I had it in, I’d fuck the other one, deep and hard. She’d scream Geronimo when she reached orgasm. I’m glad we finally sold that fucking house, before I wound up dead or worse.

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