Temporary Thrill

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by Ian on September 10, 2010

Adam Schirling is an asshole who unwillingly resides in New England. He spends his free time consuming mass amounts of liquor and participating in kinky and morally questionable sexual practices. He describes himself as an Alcoholic Absurdist, and tries to spend his life participating in the most obnoxious and inappropriate endeavors possible. Much of his work can be found on Alternative Reel, and he is currently compiling works for a chapbook. He can be located on his blog: Drunken Absurdity.

Paul was a tough man. a serious man. one that few gave trouble to. big and brooding, he lived a quiet life. people saw his size and strength and assumed a simple, plain soul. one easily amused by average pleasures of human existence. he had an average job, an average care, an average apartment…

but no one knew. no one knew his darkness. no one knew his sickness, his desires. no one knew the dark thoughts that coursed through his soul. the ones that fed him in the loneliest hours of the night. his whole day would be spent nodding, and smiling, and laughing. co-workers found him pleasant and amicable. days blended, and the earth spun on its axis. a kaleidoscope of alarm clocks, sandwich lunches, beers with buddies, and recorded prime time shows.

but still the fire burned deep. he made a noble effort to resist, in his defense. but still it burned. hard and fast, it spread through his being like a wildfire in the southern california hills. he fought it. he tossed and turned, and tried in vain to adhere to a false life. but still it burned.

one day he glimpsed the dirty magazine of a friend from work. he had seen many dirty magazines in his day. beautiful girls smiling, with wet gleaming tits, airbrushed abs, and a perfect pink triangle pussy between tan and taught legs, with just the right amount of glistening pubic hair. but this was different. the girls were different. eyes clenched shut while tight leather straps held arms and legs spread open. sex toys the size of mailboxes violated every hole in their tight bodies. red welts the size of grape fruits were raised all over thighs and ass cheeks, and tight metal clamps gripped bleeding nipples like the teeth of a hungry steel shark.

he turned these filthy and degrading pages, in awe. the fire was now an inferno in his soul. his normally calm and soft blue eyes now raged with a desire never felt.

enough was enough.

that night he went home from work, and sat down at a small table in a neat kitchen. the bottle of whiskey sat in front of him, like a bidding temptress. he slowly removed the top, and poured the first one. it went down hard, searing and screaming to his gut. the second was better. the third like a calming friend from youth coming for a visit. he was aware that the whiskey would not be enough. he went through his medicine chest, until he found a cocktail of over-the-counter cold drugs that he gleefully swallowed. 4 more drinks and he was ready.

his first stop was a shitty nude strip bar on the edge of town. he had been there before, but never like this. he sat alone at the stage, while b-class week night dancers churned a steel pole on a dark stage with dead hope in their eyes. the air was filled with cheap perfume and dead dreams. he threw some money at one blonde with huge tits and a c-section scar, and she took him in a back booth and grinded against him for two songs. her exploited pussy dry humped his hard cock through his jeans while she blabbered about the weather and sports and her kids. not yet, he realized. The time wasn’t right. he grimaced through the false pleasure and waited it out. when she was done, he got straight up and walked out the door. into the car, he drove through the night…

twenty minutes later he saw her. very young, but with old eyes, she stood on the corner of two streets that went nowhere.

thirty dollars she said. thirty dollars and her mouth would perform miracles on him, she promised. he followed her into a dark alley. she got on her knees and unzipped his pants.

nice cock, she mentioned casually, as a normal women might compliment a pleasant sweater. he had no response.

when her mouth was firmly wrapped around his cock, and her eyes clenched shit thinking of better days, he made his move. his strong hands clenched her throat, her neck cracking as he tightened his grip. her eyes shot open, and her throat tried to cry out in defiance, but had no ability to do so. her body fought, and strained but he laid his heavy body on hers and squeezed as hard as he could. he glimpsed in her dying eyes, and the fire in him burned stronger than ever. he felt as if his hands were a steel clamp, punishing this whore for her misdeeds. eventually her body began to shake, and then went limp. almost surprised, he stood up quickly. her eyes were rolled back in her head, and her lips blue. shocked with himself, he stared down at trembling hands. so much power, so much strength. he was invincible.

the officer’s voice startled him from his reverie. what’s going on here, he said. when the young cop saw the woman’s eyes he gasped then looked at paul with shock and horror. quickly his pistol was drawn and trained at paul’s heart. panic filled the murderer’s soul. no no, this wasn’t right. the officer was yelling, but all noise and light had become a fuzzy static. a roar of fear and anger erupted from deep within his chest, and even scared him. he saw himself turn away from the cop, and his mind screamed to RUN RUN RUN RUN!!!

5 steps down the dirty shitty fucking alley, he felt the punch in his back, twice, then three times. paul slumped to both knees, and stared at his chest in surprise. blood stains the size of saucers were spreading across his shirt. light grew dimmer. no he thought. it isn’t right. it’s all wrong. he heard voices, and saw flashing lights, but continued to fall. and deep within his dying mind, he felt guilt for the pleasure his crime brought, however quickly it was over. his face hit cold wet pavement.

it’s the fucking oddest thing, the medics said. you ever seen a man shot in the back with a smile like that???

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