Dan Moxham

by Horror Sleaze Trash on September 9, 2013

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Hello
My name is Dan Moxham, I am a writer of filthy yet reflective poetry and extreme horror/humor/fantasy fiction.

If you like grindhouse cinema, exploitation movies, GG Allin lyrics, cannibals, whores, explosions, midget police officers, psychos, zombies and dirty death done dirt cheap then I am sure you will like my books.

I also have a some music for free download and loads of artwork on my website:
www.danmoxham.webs.com

www.danmoxham.webs.com (in the store section)

Wild Rider

eat my dust

 

it’s the morning

of a sleepy sunday

i get off the sofa

feeling

kinda hungry

 

i go outside                                          

and it’s a bit overcast

i start fancying a nice

bit of breakfast

 

i wait for the

traffic to stop

then cross the road

to buy some stuff

from co-op

 

i get bread, beans

and a tin of sweet corn

as i leave the shop

a car starts beeping its horn

 

two chav kids

start yelling at me

shouting all sorts

of offensive

profanity

 

the passenger

clears his throat

then spits on my shoe

he looks at me and says:

“what the fuck ya gonna do?”

 

they start driving off

and i can feel the rage

the needle spins

on my pressure gauge

 

i take the tin of corn

and chuck it at the car

i had no idea

i could throw that far

 

the back windscreen smashes

all over the floor

the brake lights come on

and the chav

runs from the door

 

i think fast

and drop my bags

to the ground

and charge down the road

like a rabid hound

 

this guy ain’t very fit

i fly down a lane

like shit

off a stick

 

i’m pissed off

that i dropped my tucker

i shout at him:

“eat my dust ya motherfucker!”

 

 

The festering axe wound

 

at the pub near kicking out

the landlord

has gave the final shout

i’ve been chatting to

this girl called jess

she’s got blond hair

and a nice black dress

 

she looks sexy

hot and tight

but it could just be

my pissed-up eyesight

 

she downs her pint

of cheap rough cider

and says:

“do you like a real wild rider?”

 

we decide to call it a night

and i take her round the back

to a building site

we start kissing

under a yellow light

 

i grab her tits

and she rubs my balls

i’d drown her

in a creamy niagara falls

 

i pull down her pants

and am hit with a funk

it smells like a moose

has died in her lady trunk

i thank god

that i’m blind drunk

it attacks me again

like a badger skunk

it caught me

totally unawares

destroying

all my nose hairs

 

i vomit hard

right by her feet

her growler

has been fed on rotten meat

i press the button

on my ejection seat

 

i blow the sick

out of my nose

and remove the bits

from off my clothes

she looks at me

then strikes a sexy pose

 

we came this far

so we do it anyway

i start to drunkenly

plug away

she’s got a curly minge

like an old toupée

her pussy

feels like paper mache

corroding my dick

like radioactive decay

 

i can’t take it no more

my chap has been

through a nuclear war

entered through the devils door

i fall to the ground

and pretend to snore

 

she kicks me

but i play dead

stepping over my head

i catch a whiff

of her oyster bed

 

i wait until she disappears

then rise to my feet

like a wounded deer

my balls

resemble an elephants ear

i hurry home

for another beer

 

biggie

 

in my teens i listened to tupac

rapping about thug life

and pay back

 

on my way home from school

practicing my linguistic rule

i got mugged by some black guys

and i thought i had met

my young demise

they grabbed my bag

took out the r u still down cd

then they all started laughing at me

 

one said that i wasn’t allowed to listen to tupac

said, “you got our own music ya white boy wack”

punched me in the face

then they kicked my ass all over the place

 

i never listened to tupac again

cuz when he raps

it brings back the pain

but i still like gangsta hip hop

and the fat beats they drop

i don’t care about race or historiography

i went out and bought

the biggie smalls discography

 

i liked him better

cuz he was fat like me

and didn’t take beef from nobody

i wore my hat to the back

and listened to him rap

about being a gangster and crap

with bone, thugs and harmony

 

i thought about changing my name

to big poppa

and start smoking blunts

but i couldn’t roll em’ propa

i would do a drive-by

but i ain’t got a car

i would sip champagne

but i ain’t allowed in a bar

 

i would fuck ma bitch

until she can’t see

but it will have to be next week

because my mom just grounded me


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