Jay Levon

by Horror Sleaze Trash on July 4, 2012

Jay was born in the Ozark Mountains to a family of dirt farmers, musicians, preachers, and other such miscreants. He now lives in Arkansas with a latex she-bot named Lola, and the occasional dead hooker.

War Wounds

Last night
I jerked off
to the video
we made
years ago.
It was nice
to reminisce
each and every
salty kiss.
I recalled
how your bony ass
left bruises
on either side
of my cock.
They were
purple, and
appeared like
angry tumors.
I wore them
proudly,
as if they were
war wounds,
and I suppose
they were.

Birthday Wishes

Once, long ago,
she asked what I wanted
for my birthday.

“Anal sex,” I replied
as a joke,
kind of.

“Maybe,” she said
and laughed,
kind of.

I think she gave me
a book.
It was kind of disappointing.

Plans for my life after death

When I die I want to stand on my grave,
6 feet under and 6 feet over.
For a moment I’ll be 12 feet tall
and know what it feels like to be giant.
The problem is that I’ll be a ghost,
and transparent to everything but animals
and small asthmatic children.
Hey, it would be cool to be a ghost though.
Can’t you just imagine the possibilities?
(I think you know where this is going.)
My first stop would be the locker room
of the women’s beach volleyball team
from Brazil.
My second stop would be the locker room
of the women’s beach volleyball team
from Cuba.
My third stop would be…..(you get the idea).
After a couple centuries of this I would probably tire.
(How many perfect bronze asses can a ghost man gape at?)
At this point I would mosey on to Heaven,
and claim my great golden mansion,
or my fluffy cloud. (Depending on whose version
you believe I suppose.)
I would retire, but just to feel useful
I might take a job in Jesus’s bumper sticker factory
printing such classics as;

WWJD?

Christian on board.

In case of rapture car will be unmanned.

(You get the idea.)

Sci-Fy, and the worlds worst pick-up line

When Ezekial saw the wheel
did he ask the little green men
what stars are made of?

When Elijah entered the chariot’s
cockpit, did he set the controls
for the heart of the Sun?

When Columbus saw the sphere,
burning over the night sea,
did he believe?

That aliens exist.

Hey there beautiful,
ever been anal probed?
Do you want to be?

(cue Theremin music)

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