RM Engelhardt

by Ian on June 21, 2011

R.M. Engelhardt  is a veteran poet-writer currently living in Albany, NY whose work over the years has been published in many journals both in print and on the net including Retort, Industrial Nation, Sure! The Charles Bukowski Newsletter, Thunder Sandwich, The Angry Poet, Full of Crow, Fashion For Collapse, 2nd Ave Poetry & in many others. He has also published several books  including The Last Cigarette: The Collected Poems of R.M. Engelhardt 1989-2006, as well as his current book of poetry and prose, “Versus: Lexikon”





You check the calendar,
Check your watch
And circle the date

Make plans with the Mrs.
Do the laundry
And sale shop
At Macy’s

But everything’s the same.

For this world they say is changing
But nothing has really ever
Changed at all.

As you wait in the traffic lines
And flip off the slow lane
And serenely smile
As the next bad guy living on
The other side of the world

The Dust.

But the kids still need new shoes
And the mortgage must be paid
And the clock is still ticking
As you end another day

Another year, another month, another moment
Where you imagine in your mind
Just ending … It “All”

But would never do it
Because of the word “Hope”

But the preacher
On the radio, the Hopi
And the Mayans all keep talking
About that magic date;

12 21 2012

The end of the world
The end of it all
The apocalypse
Or maybe just that call
From God which says

“Time’s Up”

But either way the only way
To see it is that you are
Somehow moving towards a
“Brighter Hell”

But only if you keep
Your chin up

And “Smile”

The Amateur

Her role model?

Paris Hilton.

And her long~snake moan?

A simulation
Of love.

Her pictures
All over
The net.

Obsessed with her~self,
And nobody


So what’s the last
Book you read?

And when’s the
Last time
You fed?




A ~Typical,

Like all of
The rest.

And the party
Just goes on

And on.

Cocaine & roses

And all those
Images in your head,

That scream out


Already 25
And now just
Another used-up

As the media
And all the men
You slept with

Say  “Thank you”

Your test today
Coming out

This ride
Has been closed.


So if you found me naked at yer door
Would you love me just a little bit more?

Oh baby, just give me a little bit.
If I saw you on the bus and sunny
Said I do would you want my money?

Oh baby, just give me a little bit

But I can’t see our stars a’ shinin’
And I can’t see me wine & dinin’ you
(in a boat in a plane on a train in the rain babe not even in Spain)
So let’s pretend I got the rocks & glamor
Let’s pretend that I’m MC Hammer

Fuck it.

Oh baby just give me a little bit
Oh baby… Just give me a little bit

(Cause your sugar be sweet)

Oh baby just give me a little bit
Just give me a little bit

Cause all I need is some sugar

And all the glamor?

It’s under my shoe.

Instructions & invocations in preparation for the trip across the great river Styx

1} Place two coins (one over each eye) before you start your journey to give to the ferryman.
Your all seeing God may be waiting but just like an amusement park or a Disney film, it’s gonna cost you.

*Cancel that. Apparently they no longer accept coins and have now jimmied the price up to two hundred dollars due to inflation.

*Note 1 To The Unacknowledged: The ferryman hates the band “Styx”.  So please DO NOT FUCKING sing!

2} Always carry a ham sandwich or a cream cheese bagel on your person at all times. The Ferryman can be bribed.

3} Poets ARE NOT allowed on the boat. However, if you are a critic that’s acceptable as long as you kiss ass well.

4} Hellfire. Brimstone. Satan? Perhaps you have taken the wrong turn. If this happens or this where your journey ends, then try smiling a lot and suggest a lot of your friends.

*Note 2:  Hell is full of lawyers and politicians so suggest somebody else other than like your next door neighbor or an ex.

Keep your hands in the boat at all times!!!! You don’t know where that water’s been.

Bring a translation book, they all speak fuckin’ Egyptian.

*Note 3: If you are a drunk female when you pass or a gay guy DO NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES lift the Ferryman’s loin cloth or robe! And DO NOT make “Boner” jokes!

And yes. Smoking IS allowed…after all well, you’re dead.

Have A Nice Afterlife  ; )

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