I love stick figure porn. I can’t get enough of it. I love a real tall stick figure, with long hair and massive boobs.
My closet is full of pictures I have drawn of stick figures doing all sorts of sexy things.
Most of the stick figure porn on the internet is fake. They aren’t real stick figures. They’re just really skinny girls painted black.
There was this one video I found. I’m pretty sure it’s real. It’s too real for me. The first time I saw it I got so horny I passed out.
I try to keep away from the video. It’s too raw.
I only watch the fake stick figures. Some of the videos have great special effects. They look almost real. But they are just fake enough for me to feel decent about what I am doing.
SUPER FUCK BROS
The Brothers watched the dragon fall into lava, then went to get the princes.
“She’s in that bag!” Luigi yelled.
“Yeah, right, I bet she is.”
Luigi didn’t like Mario’s tone. It was important to stay positive. Sometimes Mario got him so angry he wanted to feed him to man eating turtles.
Mario walked up to the burlap sack and kicked it. “You in there princess?”
A muffled scream came from the bag.
“Why did you kick it?” Luigi asked.
Luigi ran up and untied the sack. A fat mushroom person jumped out.
“Yay, thank you super Mario brothers! But the princess is in another castle.”
Mario rolled his eyes. “Big surprise.”
He looked at the mushroom. It had a firm and curvy body. Mario had been drinking cheap box wine all day and he was feeling feisty.
Luigi was about to head toward the next castle when he saw his brother fondling the mushroom creature.
“What are you doing?”
“Hey, the thing has a vagina! Did you know these mushroom things were chicks?”
The mushroom moaned.
“We have to get the princess.”
“Luigi, get with it. There’s no princess. Now this mushroom thing is real, and it’s horny as hell. I say we stay here for the night. Maybe drink wine and get to know each other a little.”
The mushroom smiled.
Luigi sighed. What if there was no princess? He was tired and a little poking might help him relax.
He walked up to the mushroom and kissed and fondled its big soft head. She moaned. Mario unzipped his overalls. His cock was short but thick. The mushroom grabbed it and fondled it.
Mario laughed. “Now you’re playing with power,” he said.
Luigi smiled at Mario. It was the type of smile you give a friend when you are tired of being tired of their bullshit.
“Fuck me!” the mushroom yelled. “Come in my twat you fat bastards!”
“Why can’t I stop shitting?” he yelled.
Heavy tears rolled down his cheeks. He had been in the bathroom, sitting on this heartless toilet, for over an hour. He had flushed six times. The smell was monstrous. He couldn’t stop.
“Why did this happen now?”
His roommates were throwing a party and it was getting wild. He could hear them dancing and laughing. Tits were being pulled out, he was sure of it. People were getting naked, he could tell by the way they were cheering.
“Oh God have mercy on me!” he called out to the heavens.
God did not respond.
He kept pooping. It was as if his ass was the sky and the toilet was the ocean and this was the perfect storm.
Soon the hooting and hollering turned into moaning. He could hear flesh smacking against flesh. He could hear sucking sounds. His cock got hard. As he cried and squeezed out long turds, he jerked his dong. He was desperate to be included in the party in some way.
The sex sounds became more intense. Eventually the moaning turned into screams. He could hear flesh tarring and bones breaking. He was just about to come when he saw a puddle of blood seep under the door. His boner became limp. His eyes widened.
Finally, the shitting had stopped. But he no longer wanted to leave the bathroom. He no longer wanted to join the party. He wanted to hide.
“Help!” he heard someone knocking on the door. “She’s killing everyone!”
He ran to the shower and shut the curtains.
He sat there, trembling.
Even after the screaming stopped and things became quiet and the sun had risen, he refused the leave the bathroom.
“Dear God, help me,” he begged as he lied in the tub, naked, in the fetal position.
The door shook and the got ripped off the hinges. A woman walked into bathroom. She was seven feet tall woman with firm, curvy body that was covered in blood. Tusks jutted out of her mouth. Her eyes were piss-stain yellow.
She didn’t notice him. She sat on the toilet bowl and started to shit so loudly the entire house shook.
The smell was potent. It filled the boy in the tub. He became dizzy. His body shook. Horns sprouted from his head. His limbs stretched out and his muscles bulged. He screamed in pain as his teeth grew into long, cock-shaped daggers.
When he was done transforming he looked up and saw the lady-monster was standing over him. Her eyes were wide. She mounted him. The sun was up but the night wasn’t over yet. This girl was ready to party.
EXTREME LOVE MAKING
The trolls charged. Grumbar welcomed them with his mighty blade. The screams were deafening. Green blood sprayed out of trembling body parts and covered the rocky ground and Grumdars bulging muscles.
He enjoyed killing trolls. It made him horny. As he cut them to pieces, his dong grew hard. It lifted his loin cloth. His mighty meat was sweaty with bravery. The trolls hissed. He swung his flesh hammer at them and beat open their brains.
By the time the sun was setting, Grumbar had slayed over five hundred Trolls. His sword and his cock with dripping with the blood and meat.
Only one troll survived. And it was because he had let her survive. She was a sweet piece of troll ass. He could tell by the way she looked at him as he chopped up her family, that she wanted the stiffy, and she wanted it hard.
Four sharp teeth and jutted out her mouth. Her eyes were bright, hateful, nuclear green. Her skin was grey and tough.
He walked up to her and smiled. “I am tired from battle, but I will take you and give you many orgasms. The Gods will be jealous of your battered poon.”
She hissed at him.
“You smell like sweaty anus, but don’t worry, I like that.”
She jumped on him and scratched his chest. He moaned. He put his big thumbs under her armpits and tickled her until she was laughing hysterically.
While she was laughing he put her ear in his mouth and sucked on it like it was a penis. She stopped laughing and started to purr. He turned her upside down and then looked at butt area. There was a small pink bump right above her anus. It was a clit.
“You have an anal clit?”
She looked up and smiled at him.
“You’re the woman I have been looking. By the Gods I shall smash on this mighty troll with my tong until the earth trembles under the blistering heat of my spray.”
The troll hissed at him but this time the hiss sounded friendly and warm. She was horny. Her pussy hole foamed over with female troll cum. Grumbar held her up and drained her pussy sauce into his mouth. He gargled it and then spit it back into her and then drank it again.
He then licked her anal clit. She squealed. She reached for his mammoth dong and put it in her mouth.
“Ow, less teethe,” Grumbar growled.
The troll lady laughed. She licked his balls then stuck her tongue out further until it was in his asshole.
“Oh Yeah, keep going!” he yelled.
Her tongue was very long. Soon he was in his guts and wrapping it around his heart. She grabbed a hold of it and then yanked it out of his body.
Grumbar let go of the girl and she fell onto the gory ground. His heart was in her mouth. He fell on the ground next to her and lay there, silently staring up at the angry sky.
The troll girl did not understand what had happened. She stood on his chest and showed him his heart. She barked at him, wanting him to show some sign of approval.
He faced his congregation and took out his wiener. It was a massive wiener. It was the most massive wiener the world had ever seen.
Each man from the congregation walked up to their minister and fucked his gaping pee hole. No one lasted very long. Merely the idea of fucking a massive cock was so arousing they came as soon as they put it in his slimy hole.
Once the massive wiener was filled with his congregations semen, the reverend walked to the alter and lied down. The congregation sat around him and sang old campfire songs and watches as the reverend masturbated.
“Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream…”
They prayed for their mighty leader to reach orgasm. They had done this every Sunday for two years. The reverend had never been able to reach orgasm. It was as if his dick was constipated.
“Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream…”
This day was different.
“What’s that noise?” one of the men asked.
The reverends penis made a strange rumbling. It sounded as if a train was charging forward, carrying cargo from the deepest part of his soul.
Could the prophecies be true? They wondered.
“This is going to be gross,” another man said.
“Should we tell him to stop?”
For years they had prayed for this day to come, but now that the promised day was upon them they were filled with terror. They enjoyed their little routine. They enjoyed fucking the reverends mighty cock hole. They enjoyed singing and watching him masturbate endlessly.
“Don’t do it!” one man yelled to the reverend.
“I’m sorry!” the reverend responded.
They watched as a mushroom cloud of jizz erupted from his cock. It had been a sunny day, but now the sky grew thick with jizz clouds.
They stared up at the gooey clouds in awe.
The rumbling sound no longer came from the reverends cock. It came from above them.
“Dear lord have mercy!” a man yelled.
The jizz poured from the sky.
“ICKY!” one man yelled. “It’s so icky!”
It didn’t soak into the ground like normal rain. Soon it was up to their knees.
“To the boat!” another member the congregation yelled.
They ran through the sticky jizz toward the boat they had been living in for years. It was intended to be an arc. It was supposed to save them when the prophecies came true and the jizz tsunami cover the Earth. For the past ten years they had been treating it like it was nothing more than apartment building and they were not sure if it could actually function as a boat, the way they had initially intended it too.
By the time they got there, the jizz was up to their chests.
“It’s locked,” one man said as he tugged on the door knob.
They looked up and saw their wives standing at the windows. One of the women opened her window. It was the lead wifey.
“You are no longer needed,” she called out to them. “Go be with your savior.”
The men begged her to have mercy. The lead wife shook her head and walked away from their windows.
Jizz gathered. Soon they were floating in stormy sea of their own man juice.
The boat was also floating in the jizz. Its motor started. The massive arc sped away.
“Come back!” they begged.
They tried to swim after it. But it moved too quickly. They were soon engulfed in the milky white waves.